Ho-ho-oh man, today was so super strange. Of course I had a few short showers on my otherwise parade-of-a-day but the work I did actually get done had left me a little blown away.
After a full-on half hour morning show segment about all the things in the print media with references to stories and things here and there online, I packed up my stuff and did a pair of interviews for the documentary I working on. The first was definitely a lot shorter than the second but oh, all that came before it.
A peer educator, my interviewee was currently part of a group doing blood tests for HIV/AIDS on one of the university campuses. I chatted and got to know the work and I've been seeing a lot of issues emerging and running in parallel to sexual reproductive health (SRH). When I asked what people asked questions about I felt so many mixed feelings.
Basic condom use, from how to actually wear one to discovering that were we actually different sizes; actual condom negotiation, misconceptions and, to some extent, the close-mindedness of the "educators" that have come before. I, of course, took the opportunity and networked a bit to find a male companion for a one-off show I hope to produce about communicating about SRH. But after the camera was packed up and I was on my way to the next interview, things shared felt like a mixed bag of surprise and what I know to be commonplace. I wasn't sure what to make of all of it.
We are a tight-lipped nation on the subject. And because of this I try and make as much noise as I can. Sure, there are cultural and religious sensitivities but there's no denying that sex happens. After my second interview I caught up with my colleague who was helping me film and she asked "but what about sex?"
She has a young daughter and we were casually discussing our ideas about child rearing. She said she would hope she remains an open minded parent, one who would allow her daughter to date, even in high school. I chimed in, adding that it could be a way to socialise and be safe in determining the nature of relationships she would want as an adult. And then the question. "But what about sex?"
And what about it? I have a firm belief that parents need to cut the crap, drop the rhetoric and actually be willing to hear it when their children grow up and develop all the hormones that make them sexual beings. If they arent able to articular those kinds of things and feel safe, how can they be expected to talk to their future partners? It's an invaluable skill when it comes to determining when they feel ready, what kind of contraceptives they would prefer or discuss consent.
Sure, maybe parents should just "stay of it" but how does that help a developing, learning and growing human being? They need a guide to learn how to develop healthy relationships first and foremost between engaging in the sexytimes. Protecting yourself isn't just about a condom, it's about being secure emotionally and definitely physically.
If you hastily engage in a sexual relationship if you aren't ready or if you have no safeguards, how can people be safe from sexual coercion or abuse? How can you form a family if there has been no discussion, no planning as partners? If you can't tell your parents (who obviously did the dirty and that's why you exist) then who can you tell?
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