Lady of Leisure

Oh my. It's been a while. Or... I dont know, it's never been like... THIS.

I left my first (technically) full time job because... I don't 100% know - it just wasn't the best fit and I was starting to wear out really, really fast.

Following starting there, I started to get more frequent panic attacks, doubt the work I was doing, doubt myself. I felt trapped by money, I was drained of passion and I was just really, really depressed everyday I had to wake up and go to work.

It was probably a combination of things but I imagine it was firmly rooted in the massive switch from community to commercial media. I missed purpose, I missed creative freedom, I missed a comforting work environment. I also just missed working.

Yes, that is "the real world" or so people would tell me. But I couldn't do it anymore. Starving artist, starving advocate - an empty wallet is far more comforting to me than starving for work, for action and for movement.

My grandmother called me this morning to ask for sugar and she asked when I was going to work. When I reminded her I not longer were in that 9-5 she cheered me and called me "a lady of leisure - but as busy as ever".

That's pretty much the gist of it.

I'm trying to get back on my creative feet, trying to find my way in the world - trying to find somewhere Im happy to wake up to get to. Step 1? Recover.