I live and work in multiple creative spaces. I am blessed to be allowed to write in a way that feels natural, make videos on a regular basis, learn, express myself and share what I find. I am constantly inspired by the women, in all their diversities, that I work with.
I am lucky to have what I need. I do not struggle as much as the women I get to work with. I live the way I would like, I am not restricted in any way other than by reason and recommendations. I am able to live with my family as well as with my long term partner. I am lucky.
Yet, despite all of this, I feel my inner fire, my passion and drive dimming slowly. I feel tired. It might just be a "today" thing - I was up super late because, because, because ... I was working. I was both utter disappointed in what I made as well as overjoyed because it seemed far too hilarious at the time.
I showed it to a colleague and she laughed. I was so scared. I was nervous because what I had made was meant to be funny, but I wasnt sure. But it did keep that little fire flickering inside me, just a little.
So as I struggle to do what I do on a day to day basis, I keep trying. I cant let that fire go out. Im terrified it will, as it has before, but I cant let it go out. Not again. Its far too hard trying to reignite it.
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